The word that bridges
the gap between
my desire and
the reality.
The word that
increases Him
and decreases me.
The unspoken
unknown.
The word that provokes
the countless
“what ifs”
that question my faith,
expose my theology,
shape my future,
test my obedience,
master my will.
When He spoke
that precious word,
it meant
hurtful betrayal,
the denial of justice,
total abandonment,
agonising pain,
absolute darkness,
cruel death.
I speak it hoping
it will mean
sunshine and roses,
coffee and cake,
ease and prosperity.
He spoke it knowing
eternal life,
full joy,
unmerited righteousness,
and perfect peace
would follow the pain.
I speak it
hesitatingly,
fearing the pain.
Excited for the
destination,
but looking for
a back road in.
Lord, I long
for a heart
like Yours,
that spoke
“nevertheless”,
and left the
consequences
to the
Father.
I long for the
Servant’s heart,
that says
“nevertheless”,
and means
“whatever”,
“whenever”,
“however”,
and doesn’t add
caveats
or plead for a
different route.
Father, let my
“nevertheless”
be true abandonment,
and Your will be
accomplished.
Whatever that looks like,
tastes like,
or costs.
Let it be
the never-ending refrain
in the valley of trouble,
the exhale of trust
on the
mountaintop.
The complete
laying down
of all that is
me.
The heart’s cry
and
anthem
of my life.
Not my will,
but Yours,
be done.
