Transcript:
Welcome to this episode of Talking Truth. Today we're going to talk about self-esteem. I don’t disregard the irony—I'm sitting here with my friends who are going to help discuss this. I thought it would be helpful to begin by asking about the origins of the concept of self-esteem. Any thoughts?
I have a thought, but it’s not really mine—I got it from Wikipedia. I think there’s probably something in it. I read that it has its origins in the work of philosopher and psychologist William James. James identified multiple dimensions of the self, two levels of hierarchy: the process of knowing, called the "I" self, and the resulting knowledge about the self, called the "me" self. There are three types of knowledge—material self, social self, and spiritual self. The social self comes closest to self-esteem, comprising all characteristics recognized by others.
That’s really useful, Graeme. I think what that does is raise an initial question: why, when we're talking about the truth of God's word, are we having a discussion about self-esteem? Often when Christians approach the Bible or think about Christian living, an issue that comes up is self-esteem. "How am I expected to live the Christian life or do what God expects when I suffer from low self-esteem?"
The first thing to recognize is that the origins of this concept aren’t biblical—they’re secular, psychological, and philosophical.
Anybody else want to add or ask a question?
How would you define self-esteem? What do we mean by that? Some people think it’s very clear, but there’ll be listeners wondering what exactly we mean.
It’s a positive view of self. When we think about origins, William James is one figure, but Carl Rogers really popularized it. In the ’70s and ’80s, there was a massive push around the self-help movement.
So we should think highly of ourselves—is that what we're saying?
This is where the origins come into play. Carl Rogers, a secular humanist psychologist, tried to understand life without reference to God. He was trying to answer: how should we think positively about ourselves?
Are you saying the terminology is recent or the concept?
The concept might go back to philosophers like Kant, 17th/18th century, but the way we now understand it today is shaped by psychologists like Rogers and Maslow. Most people have heard of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.
Today, we believe children need to feel positive about themselves. If they don’t, there’ll be significant problems. Psychologists say that if you deal with self-esteem issues, you can eradicate crime, solve personal and social problems. Christians hear this and think, “I need to be aware of this to live my Christian life.”
So, does anyone want to push back?
It’s not something I’ve thought much about. I’m familiar with the term, and I’ve heard it mainly used by people who say they lack it. They feel socially awkward or incapable because of low self-esteem—some sort of deficiency in how they value themselves.
I remember hearing from a platform that we all need an adequate level of self-esteem. If we don’t have enough, we won’t function properly as Christians, husbands, or within the church. Of course, too much self-esteem can be a problem too. But I’d take issue with the idea that we need self-esteem, because it brings a secular humanistic concept into God’s word.
So we should use different words?
Not just different words—we should avoid using words that can be misunderstood. We could use "self-care" instead. That’s a biblical concept. We need to care about where we’re going for eternity. That’s self-care. Once we’re Christians, we need to grasp the wonder of what we've been brought into in Christ.
So our next question becomes: how do we evaluate this biblically?
When we use psychological terminology, it's always laden with meaning and presuppositions. As Christians, we often use these terms—self-esteem, ego—but they come from schools of thought we might not even realize. We should aim to speak biblically, not label things with psychological language.
And a lot of people don’t know they’re doing that. It’s not intentional.
Right. We swim in a psychologically defined culture—education, parenting, workplace policies—all shaped by these ideas. Even if we’re not aware, we're being influenced.
Many people listening may have genuine concerns and use terms like self-esteem to describe them. Their issues are real. Others, like me, just haven’t thought much about it. Most people know the term but haven’t deeply considered it.
And there are people who think of harming themselves because they genuinely do have a low opinion of themselves. The issues are serious and real.
Exactly. And while the terminology may not be biblical, the issues people struggle with certainly are.
People’s struggles aren’t made up. They're real. As Christians, we need to be sensitive, patient, and view those situations through a biblical lens—not a humanistic one.
Some are encouraged to have a high opinion of themselves, and that can become a barrier to the gospel. The gospel tells us we are sinners, dead in trespasses, unable to earn righteousness. That’s the opposite of a self-esteem culture.
The Lord Jesus spoke of the man who beat his chest saying, “God, be merciful to me, a sinner.” In today’s culture, we’d say he had low self-esteem. But Jesus commended him for his right view of himself before God.
It’s key to have a healthy understanding of who we are before God. Isaiah said, “Woe is me, for I am undone.” Peter said, “Depart from me, for I am a sinful man.” These are honest assessments before God.
There’s a quote by Josh McDowell: "A healthy self-image is seeing yourself as God sees you—no more, no less." That’s helpful.
So, what's the biblical perspective? What does a healthy view of self look like?
It’s seeing yourself as God views you, as revealed in the Bible. Some people feel worthless. That’s objectively untrue. The Bible says the most important person—God—loves you. You are made in his image. You have value.
But we are also sinful and flawed, in need of God’s mercy and forgiveness. As Christians, our identity and significance are revealed in Scripture.
The more we get to know that, the more we begin to see ourselves rightly. Genesis tells us we are made in God’s image—that applies to everyone.
Culture says you have inherent dignity because of who you are. The Bible says your value comes from being made in God’s image. That’s a key distinction.
And as Christians, we’re children of God (John 1:12–13), part of his family. We are counted righteous (Romans 4:4), called saints (1 Corinthians 1:2), and belong to Christ. That lifts us—not in ourselves, but in Christ.
When it comes to identity, especially in issues like transgender debates, culture says identity is self-defined. Scripture says our identity is given—we’re image bearers, and we reflect God.
Before we were in Christ, we were in Adam. Now we belong to Christ's race, the redeemed. Psalm 139 says we are who the Lord intended us to be. That’s freeing—we don’t need to become someone else, just Christlike versions of ourselves.
There’s also a difference between unworthiness and worthlessness. Christians accept we’re not worthy of God's blessings, but we are not worthless. We were bought with the precious blood of Christ.
That truth should lead to humility and gratitude—not pride. A biblical self-estimate is simply true—not high or low. But if you take God out of the picture, you have to find identity and worth in yourself.
The world tells people to write a list of what they’re good at. The NHS even recommends cutting out people who make you feel bad. That’s the advice.
But in the church, we’re not just seeking affirmation. We want to see things through God’s eyes. There may be truth in encouraging someone, but the focus should always be on the Lord—not on self.
Some people genuinely need encouragement. Maybe they’ve never realized the gifts God has given them. Affirmation is biblical when it points to what God has done.
Self-deprecation is just as wrong as selfish pride. We’re not to love ourselves in a prideful way, but neither should we hate ourselves. We’re raised up with Christ (Ephesians), seated with him—we shouldn't put ourselves down.
We’re not isolated. Romans 12 says we’re members of one body, each with different functions. We’re part of a living organism—the church. Our characteristics and gifts are for the good of the body.
We should think less about ourselves, not less of ourselves. As that book puts it: "The freedom of self-forgetfulness"—focus on others. Too much self-contemplation is unhealthy.
Some people live alone and spend a lot of time thinking about themselves. It can lead to general or even clinical depression. We need to encourage people to invest in others.
I once knew someone very self-deprecating. They said, “It’s my pride that makes me like this.” They thought too highly of their own opinion of themselves and not highly enough of God's word.
Pride isn’t just about boasting—it can also be inward and self-focused.
So how would you help someone suffering from low self-esteem?
You bring them back to who they are in Christ—the value God has placed on them. Christ died for them. They now have gifts and blessings and purpose.
Encourage them to think less about themselves and more about others. That’s not an overnight switch, but a direction to move toward.
Also, remind them that without Christ, we can do no good thing. Yet, in him, everything becomes spiritual—even eating and drinking, done for God’s glory.
Some people have personalities prone to fear and anxiety. They need assurance, and it's genuinely difficult for them. Others may struggle comparatively—feeling less than others.
It’s not always easy to distinguish these cases. But as believers, we want to help others see a bigger God and a biblical view of self. Looking inward is ugly, but looking to Christ is glorious.
Many people with low self-esteem are responding to how they think others see them. If we can shift their comparison from other people to Christ, that’s powerful.
Christ says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” He was always tender toward the weak. We should reflect that.
Instead of the Carl Rogers approach—reflecting inward—we reflect people to the word. We help them see themselves in Christ.
To those struggling with self-esteem: trust that what God says in his word is sufficient. Testimonies of people who’ve been changed by focusing on God are powerful.
Turn your eyes upon Jesus.
He has given us all things that pertain to life and godliness—including each other. 1 Corinthians 12 reminds us: we’re one body with different parts. We need each other.
I appreciate all of you—you’ve helped me in my spiritual journey. Conversations like this encourage us: “I’m a child of God. What I’m doing matters.”
Corrie Ten Boom said when she received a compliment, she smelled the rose and passed it back to God. She didn’t let it inflate her pride—she let it glorify God.
That’s a good place to end.
Thank you. We trust you found this helpful, and we look forward to our next discussion.
