In this article I will consider how we can successfully overcome setbacks associated with self. By “self” I mean the human weakness, frustrations and imperfections in our personal circumstances that happen despite our best efforts, and that cannot be attributed to sin (see the previous article) or suffering (which is for a future article).
We can learn from many biblical characters who successfully overcame setbacks in this regard. We all share their humanity, which is encouraging, since we are not the first to face struggles linked to self, but equally challenging because everyone who has ever lived for God has had to overcome the inherent setbacks that come from being human.
Our physical needs
James 5:17 says “Elijah was a human being like us” (NET). During a time of drought and famine in 1 Kings 17, part of God’s solution was to give him physical provision. A simple question to ask ourselves during a setback is, “are we trying to do something we have not been designed to do?” Other than short term exceptions, God has made each of us to need daily provisions and sufficient rest. In a “twenty-four seven” world where machines operate efficiently for long periods, some setbacks will be helped by recognising our human limitations and by following our Creator’s intentions regarding food, drink and rest.
Our background
Gideon said “Please, Lord, how can I save Israel? Behold, my clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my father's house” (Judges 6:15 ESV). While some people have had a very privileged background and, in some cases, parents have done an excellent job, we can all point to imperfections in our personal history. The Lord Jesus understands our individual situations and His earthly life serves as an example. He came from the despised, obscure area of Nazareth (John 1:46), had people look down on Him because of their perception of His family (John 8:48) and His occupation (Matthew 13:55), and He experienced family friction (Luke 2:48; John 7:5). We may have to overcome formative experiences that have shaped our cultural expectations and our natural attitudes, and possibly even produced prejudices. Honestly studying God’s Word will help correct our thinking – for example, the way Scripture teaches us that God often uses what appears to the human mind to be insignificant to fulfil His will (1 Corinthians 1:27) and His desire for all to be saved (1Timothy 2:4) both show how God’s thoughts are higher than ours (Isaiah 55:9).
Our age and experience
Timothy was told “Let no one despise your youth” (1Timothy 4:12 but Solomon, despite having been endowed with wisdom from God in early life, made unwise decisions in later years. When we are young, we may particularly wish for greater wisdom and more experience; at other times we may wish for more strength and a better memory. Some setbacks may be more likely at, but not limited to, certain stages in life. Nevertheless, at every stage, there will be a need to rely on the Lord for His enabling and guidance.
Our inabilities – and abilities
Moses said, “Who am I that I should go?” (Exodus 3:11), when God asked him to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. We need to be careful that we are not, like Moses, reflecting a level of reluctance. Instead, we should listen carefully to the divine exhortation and follow the God of creation who can give the necessary ability for every situation. There can also be the opposite problem of overzealousness! Doing our best as good stewards of the abilities God has given us is clearly right (Luke 12:48). However, if, by human planning and capability alone, we are “successful”, and at risk of not giving God the glory, He may intervene to weaken us, just as He significantly reduced Gideon’s army in Judges 7. This kind of setback is not to make success less likely – but to ensure God is given the glory.
Along with taking encouragement from Bible characters, I have found it helpful to ask two questions: “Is the issue really a setback?” and “Can it be used for the glory of God?”
Unrealistic expectations, or our need for control, can cause frustration and make us wrongly presume that something is a setback. There is benefit from reading Christian biographies that illustrate how God uses people from a wide variety of backgrounds and imperfect circumstances. For example, as a young girl, Amy Carmichael prayed that God would change her eye colour from brown to blue, and she was disappointed when it didn’t happen! Years later, as a missionary in India, she believed her brown eyes helped her to be more accepted. So, patience could give us a correct perspective on something we may otherwise see as a setback.
Another attribute is peace. Accepting that we cannot know everything, be everywhere, or do all we would like, will save us from perceived setbacks. Part of “godliness with contentment is great gain” (1 Timothy 6:6) is accepting God’s will is that we live for Him in the context of who we are – including our limitations, whether real or perceived.
Changing our perception of a “setback” may even open an area of service. In a less informed era, left-handed people were seen as disadvantaged. Ehud illustrates how those fighting with swords sometimes used their ‘left-handedness’ to their benefit (Judges 3). Most of us have a personality that naturally leans towards either pessimism or optimism. Both can bring setbacks in serving the Lord – either a lack of vision or unwise decision-making, but with the Lord’s help these can be moulded to become a healthy zeal or wise prudence.
A setback is successful if it leads to less dependence on self and increasing humility. The way we show that lowliness of mind may vary a little depending on our character and circumstances, but the Scriptures are clear that “God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble” (1 Peter 5:5).
A setback can also be successful if it leads to better interdependence with others. Despite good intentions with our plans, our imperfect knowledge and the inability to control everything can result in outcomes that differ from what we had hoped. Setbacks of this kind should help us to be gracious towards others having similar experiences. Likewise, seeing that others can do things better than we can should increase our appreciation for them, whether it is our spouse, a family member, other Christians or our work colleagues. In 1 Corinthians 12, in the context of a local church, Paul uses the picture of a body, where each part has its own particular role – we should recognise that we will not be the best at everything.
Acknowledging this can be especially helpful in dealing with the inevitable setback of older age. Just as there are only a few foods that improve with age, so only a few of our faculties become more developed over time – most peak and then deteriorate. The principle of 2 Timothy 2:2 reminds us that preparing for, and handing over to, the next generation is a key responsibility and a positive response to the setbacks age often brings.
A setback is most successful when it increases our dependence on the Lord. Twice I have attempted an area of service for the Lord and, having concluded it was not for me, then experienced the Lord giving me the ability to do it through His help. Paul wrote about a personal and specific weakness God had allowed in his life: “Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness’” (2 Corinthians 12:8-9). He therefore concluded in verse 10: “When I am weak then am I strong”.
We are all a “work in progress” so setbacks should be seen as normal. It is up to each one of us to ensure that, with God’s help, the setbacks become successful and bring glory to God. “He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion”, says Philippians 1:6. God does not give up on us and neither should we.
