Midlife – Fearless regarding huge consequences
We previously looked at the early part of Sarah’s life – in particular her willingness to bravely follow her husband’s commands and to faithfully wait for God to act in difficult circumstances. Fast forward a few chapters however and it would seem that disappointment now looms large in Sarah’s life. Ten years in Canaan have passed, the promised heir has still not arrived and the words of God which strengthened Sarah in desperate times don’t seem able to sustain her in the grind of daily life any more. Scholars will tell us that in the culture Sarah lived in, barrenness was seen as a curse and the blame was usually laid upon the woman.[1]
Perhaps the fact that God had appeared twice now to Abraham (we do not read of Sarah being present in either Genesis 12 or 15) and specifically promised he would have a child had left her doubtful of her involvement in these promises. Perhaps Sarah’s experience in Egypt, when her husband left her unprotected in Pharaoh’s house, had left her feeling tainted in some way or worthless. Perhaps witnessing the ease with which Egyptians could guarantee an heir through their system of taking concubines planted the seed of a desperate idea in her mind, and Egypt had also supplied her with the very handmaid to carry it out. Whatever the reasoning that led her to it, the first spoken words of Sarah’s we read are selfish, utterly against God’s principles, and incredibly bad advice to her husband:
“And Sarai said to Abram, ‘Behold now, the Lord has prevented me from bearing children. Go in to my servant; it may be that I may obtain children by her.’ And Abram listened to the voice of Sarai” (Genesis 16:2 ESV).
No sooner does Hagar the handmaid conceive, and begin to look down upon her mistress as a result, than Sarah is consumed with regret and throws angry accusations of blame back at Abraham rather than herself. The resulting child, Ishmael, becomes not only a long-standing problem in the household but his descendants and Sarah’s are at odds with each other to this day. The whole incident has echoes of Eve in the garden, overstepping the mark in her influence of her husband and causing lasting consequences for humankind.
It is easy to look on in shock at what Sarah does in trying to manipulate the situation, and then at her reaction to the results of her actions, and to judge her, but for those of us who are wives are we not sometimes at risk of falling into the same trap? We can be hurt by our husbands and struggle to forgive it fully; we can become bitter after years of waiting for our looked-for answer to prayer; we can choose not to remind ourselves of God’s promises or, worse, doubt His Word and character altogether. All of these pitfalls can lead us to a place where our wisdom and judgement are severely clouded by our own self-absorption and self-pity and we are in no fit state to be a helper to our husbands – a role the fulfilling of which we will one day answer to God for.
Furthermore, what Sarah wanted – a child and heir – was a good thing! But for her it had become the ultimate thing, and she was prepared to do whatever it took to get it. We are often no different. As Christian women, we may want a husband, a suitable house and career, a family, a role at church or a myriad other things that God in His Word says are good to desire. But when desire for those things eclipses our desire for God, to please and follow Him first and foremost, then we need to reevaluate our motives, repent and recommit ourselves to God, before we do irreversible damage as Sarah did.
Although Sarah could not reverse what happened or its far-reaching consequences, it does appear that, at least personally, she learned from this incident in her life. Following this chapter we only read of her speaking on two more occasions, the first of which, quoted later in this article, is largely to herself (Genesis 18:12). There is perhaps a simple lesson here for all of us – to be circumspect with our words as they have power to incite evil actions as well as good.
But the final occasion in which we hear her speak demonstrates that her experiences had taught her godly wisdom. After she gives birth to her own son Isaac, she again gives her husband advice – telling him to send both Hagar and Ishmael away (Genesis 21:10). It may seem as though Sarah is once more dishing out orders that are motivated by selfishness but she is actually basing her instruction squarely on God’s promise to Abraham. Abraham had previously shown a weak spot for Ishmael and God had corrected him, explicitly stating that His everlasting covenant would be with the son called Isaac that Sarah bore (Genesis 17:19). Sarah’s advice then is rooted in God’s word and motivated by a desire to see God’s will fulfilled. God even goes so far as to add His own commendation of her words:
“But God said, ‘Whatever Sarah says to you, do as she tells you, for through Isaac shall your offspring be named.’” (Genesis 21:12 ESV, emphasis mine).
All of us would do well to aspire to this standard when we offer advice or counsel to others – are our words backed up by scripture and do they encourage others to seek God’s will and try to follow it? And, in particular for wives: when our husbands waver, as they sometimes will, are we walking closely enough with our Saviour and are we familiar enough with His Word that we can give advice that is scripturally sound and is motivated by what would be most pleasing to God?
Later Life – Fearless because of His Covenant
Finally, a look at the life of Sarah would not be complete without considering how God brings about the birth of Isaac, and her reactions to the Lord working in her life again. In Genesis 18 the Lord visits Abraham and Sarah and eats with them in their tent. During the conversation between the Lord and her husband, Sarah overhears Him promise that she will soon bear a son:
“Sarah laughed to herself, saying, ‘After I am worn out, and my lord is old, shall I have pleasure?’
The Lord said to Abraham, ‘Why did Sarah laugh and say, ‘Shall I indeed bear a child, now that I am old?’ Is anything too hard for the Lord? . . .’ But Sarah denied it, saying, ‘I did not laugh,’ for she was afraid. He said, ‘No, but you did laugh.’” (Genesis 18:12,13,15 ESV).
Sarah is unquestionably wrong to laugh, even within herself (a timely reminder that God hears and knows the darkest thoughts of our hearts), and even worse to lie about it to the Lord. When we feel God’s Spirit speaking to us, convicting us of wrong thoughts, words or actions our first response should always be to humbly confess so that we can know our Father’s gentle cleansing (1 John 1:9).
Just as she had done after her disastrous failure regarding Hagar, it would appear Sarah learns from her doubting and lies. In chapter 20 we see her faced with the threat of being taken away from Abraham by Abimelech but this time we do not read of her being asked to lie or agreeing to. Instead, we see her vindicated by Abimelech’s gift of a thousand pieces of silver to declare her innocence. How difficult it must have been for her to trust that this would not delay God’s timing still further – yet I believe she did, and in the very next chapter we read of God fulfilling His promise, specifically toward Sarah.
“The Lord visited Sarah as he had said, and the Lord did to Sarah as he had promised. And Sarah conceived and bore Abraham a son in his old age… And Sarah said, ‘God has made laughter for me; everyone who hears will laugh over me.’” (Genesis 21:1,2,6 ESV, emphasis mine).
Here is a woman who has developed an incredibly close relationship with her God, thanks to the ups and downs He has brought her through. A woman who is able to acknowledge, with a humble sense of irony, I suspect, that her son will be a constant reminder to her of how a once foolish laugh has been replaced by a joyous one. A woman who has learned to rightly attribute all of her personal blessings to her merciful God and to trust Him fully. Thousands of years later, in that great chapter of faith, where Sarah is one of only two women named, God graciously sums her up thus:
“By faith Sarah herself received power to conceive, even when she was past the age, since she considered him faithful who had promised” (Hebrews 11:11 ESV).
May we follow Sarah’s example, submitting to those who lead us, pursuing only God’s will for our lives, leaving our doubts behind and fearlessly trusting our God.
[1] https://brill.com/display/book/9789004366305/BP000010.xml?srsltid=AfmBOoq7WtuEuk0xZE7O0l6TA_DsmSjH6kY_ixuw1TlN8c51OGDEM_wM
