Yet in our society we are deafened by meaningless commitments. Broken promises in public life no longer shock us. In a world like this, what does marriage really mean? As the Sermon on the Mount progresses, Christ continues to contrast the standards of the Old Testament system with the far greater expectations of those who would live in His kingdom. In this section and the next one (to be discussed in the next article), the Lord reveals that, in His kingdom, promises are of profound importance. First, He turns our attention to the sanctity of marriage.
God Himself, Architect of the universe and Creator of humankind, is the One who designed marriage. Right at the beginning of human society, this fundamental principle is established: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). The ceremonies and celebrations can vary greatly from one culture to another. However, at the heart of biblical marriage is a lifelong covenant of commitment between one man and one woman.
The promises at the centre of a marriage are expressed in words that may take only moments to say, but the effect of those words lasts a lifetime. Tragically, our society has engaged in a wholesale devaluation of marriage and then redefined it in its own image. Linked to this has been the cheapening of sex and the denial of its deep significance. In stark contrast, the Lord reveals how seriously both marriage and sexual relations are taken in His kingdom:
“Furthermore it has been said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery” (Matthew 5:31,32).
Continuing with the pattern of the sermon, once again the Lord raises the bar by referring back to the Old Testament Scriptures: “When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favour in his eyes because he has found some uncleanness in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house” (Deuteronomy 24:1). Later in Matthew, there is a repetition of chapter 5 verse 32, with an important addition: “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so” (Matthew 19:8). Therefore, the permission given in Deuteronomy 24 was not an expression of the divine ideal. Indeed, here the Lord places a strict limitation on the circumstances in which divorce is permitted.
The devaluing of marriage that characterises our contemporary Western culture is nothing new. At the time of Christ, there were rabbinical schools that promoted a very broad interpretation of the phrase “found some uncleanness” (Deuteronomy 24:1). The school of Hillel taught that it could refer to anything that displeased her husband. The school of Akiba went so far as to say that a man finding another woman more attractive was sufficient grounds.[1] However, the Old Testament could not have been clearer: “For the LORD God of Israel says that He hates divorce” (Malachi 2:16). The Lord is making it abundantly clear that marriage is deeply precious to God and that sexual immorality is incredibly serious.
It is healthy for us to remember Paul’s exhortation: “Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body” (1 Corinthians 6:18). A powerful illustration is given in Proverbs chapter 7. A young man is enticed into sexual sin, with no understanding of the cost involved: “He followed her at once, like an ox going to the slaughter. He was like a stag caught in a trap, awaiting the arrow that would pierce its heart. He was like a bird flying into a snare, little knowing it would cost him his life” (Proverbs 7:22,23 NLT).
As Christians, our marriages should be so precious. Yet the broken world we live in, together with our own sinful nature, can undermine what should mean so much to us. When a spouse has been unfaithful in a marriage, they have a responsibility to acknowledge their sin and repent of it. It is so important for us to remember that we have a High Priest in God’s presence who sympathises with our weaknesses, and we are therefore encouraged to “come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy” (Hebrews 4:16). We can make that approach with the incredible assurance that forgiveness is always available (1 John 1:9).
This principle of forgiveness applies directly to the wronged partner in Christian marriage. Paul exhorted the believers in Ephesus: “And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32). What an example! Our forgiveness of one another is to be modelled on the radical mercy and grace shown to us through the cross.
The most significant aspect of biblical marriage is the picture that it is designed to paint of Christ and His church. Paul quotes the fundamental principle established by God in Genesis 2:24, and then reveals a vital truth: “This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church” (Ephesians 5:32). The book of Revelation develops further the truth of the church as the bride of Christ, who is portrayed throughout the book as the sacrificial Lamb. John was given a wonderful vision of the New Jerusalem and he records the invitation he received: “Come, I will show you the bride, the Lamb’s wife” (Revelation 21:9).
However, God recognises the frailty and fallenness of human relationships. The account of Hosea and Gomer provides a powerful illustration of the mercy, grace and forgiveness in the heart of God (Hosea chs.1-3).
In Genesis we read of Eve being taken from Adam’s side, depicting Christ’s death, securing the church, His bride.[2] In Revelation, John records that he saw “the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven like a bride beautifully dressed for her husband” (Revelation 21:2). So, throughout scripture, marriage is one of the primary images that God has chosen to use to describe His relationship with His people. It is no wonder, then, that in His kingdom, the Lord places such importance on this beautiful covenant relationship.
[1] Mounce, Robert H., Matthew: New International Biblical Commentary, Hendrickson Publishers, 1991, p.47.
[2] Genesis 2:21-23