This article is about love and brings us to the end of a series regarding what God expects us to “put on”, based on Colossians 3 verses 12-14. We have considered what it looks like in our Christian life to adorn ourselves with compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, patience and forgiveness. Now we come to the belt that holds these all together: “And above all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity” (Colossians 3:14 NIV).
So, the question is, as King Charles II bluntly put it on his engagement to Lady Di, what is love? No other topic has been the theme of so many songs, books or poems. It has been researched and debated by philosophers, sociologists and psychologists, yet they all struggle to come to a consensus on what it is. Is it merely an emotion, or an essential physiological urge? We are interested in what love means to us as Christians, and in the New Testament there are two Greek words used that have been translated “love”: philia and agape. Philia is arguably the easier of the two to “put on” as it means the love that exists between close companions, a warm affection between best friends. Agape love, featured in our verse, doesn’t come so naturally and, interestingly, the Cambridge dictionary says in its definition that it is “a giving love, entirely unselfish; used especially in Christianity to refer to Christian love”.
Although this agape love can be hard to live out and doesn’t come naturally to us, it is not optional. Paul makes that clear in 1 Corinthians 13; without love even the most impressive spiritual gifts, amazing miracles or biggest sacrifices are worthless. It is a lot to take in, that what may look like a great work for God is not acceptable to Him if it is not done from a motive of love. This love is not based on feelings but is an act of the will; it is shown in what it does. Reading on in 1 Corinthians 13, Paul gives us a comprehensive, and daunting, description of the love that is expected of us: it’s patient, kind, not envious, not boastful, not proud, honours others, doesn’t get angry easily, doesn’t hold a grudge, protects, trusts, hopes, perseveres. The bottom line is that to show agape love means we must determine to put the welfare of others above our own. “By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren” (1 John 3:16).
Is agape love only to be shown to our fellow believers, those we can call our “brethren”? Even though that may be challenge enough, I’m afraid not! In the sermon on the mount the Lord Jesus elevates the commandment to love our neighbours and broadens the parameters to include those who hate us and want to harm us (Matthew 5:43-48). We are unlikely to feel philia love for our enemies, but we must show them agape love. Likewise, to people who, although not outright enemies, we aren’t naturally drawn to or with whom we have a personality clash. Is that even possible? In and of ourselves it’s not, but thankfully we have the power of the source of love itself – “because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us” (Romans 5:5).
1 John 4:7-11 is a hard-hitting passage that pulls us up short if we think agape love is optional. John says, in effect, “if you love you must be born of God and know Him; if you don’t love you don’t know God.” That’s blunt! Love is an expression of God’s essential character – God is love. He loved us when we didn’t reciprocate that love and He proved it at the cross. His love was undeserved and sacrificial, and John says, “If God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” With God’s help we can make the showing of agape love a way of life. “Therefore be imitators of God as dear children. And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma” (Ephesians 5:1,2).
I’m not going to finish by giving examples of how and to whom you should be showing love. You know who is in your life and what needs you can meet, grounded and tied together by agape. But if you’re ever asked again what your love language is you can reply, “Greek! It’s philia and it’s agape”.
If you haven’t already, go back and read the other articles in the Fashion Fundamentals series. They remind us of what is really important as we choose what to put on – “Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another and forgiving one another . . . But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection” (Colossians 3:12-14).