Is it worth the wait?
Made for Marriage
God made you so that one day you can enjoy intimate relations with your marriage partner. Therefore, all the chemicals, desires, and parts of your body are elements of God’s creation. They are good, pure, and virgin and are intended to be kept that way until marriage.
According to God’s plan, when a man and woman get married, "they shall become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24). When a couple enjoys oneness of convictions, interests, goals, values, friendship, and commitment, they marry. Then, and only then, can they truly enjoy physical oneness.
It is not a case of just waiting until you "fall in love." The first couple, Adam and Eve, did not enjoy physical relations until God brought the woman to the man in marriage. This is still God’s will today. He says, "Abstain from sexual immorality" (1 Thessalonians 4:3); this is the Bible word referring to all illicit sexual relations. Fornication may be pleasurable for a moment, but it is a sin against God and a terrible mistake. Don’t miss out on the incredible joy of sharing your purity on your wedding day. Love God and love your partner so much that you will wait to enter into God’s beautiful design for holiness in physical intimacy. It will be worth the wait!
Made for Maturity
The first ones to enjoy physical relations were a man and a woman, not two teenagers. Having intimate relations with a spouse is such a holy privilege, that it requires maturity to handle the equally holy responsibility that comes with it. You cannot enjoy one without the other. That is why, in Bible times, parents arranged the marriages (don’t start sweating!). Having been married, parents would be better equipped to make sure the couple was ready for the great privileges and responsibilities of marriage, including physical relations.
Therefore, dating is not a fun Friday night activity. It is a serious time of preparation for a life of marriage. So, if you can’t wait, you shouldn’t date! If you are not mature enough to handle the pleasures and responsibilities of marriage, you are likely not ready to begin heading down the dating pathway.
Is losing your purity that serious?
Fornication is sin against God. The uncleanness of sexual sin may be tolerated on television, but it is still hated by heaven. It is a violation of God’s honor and holiness and "God will judge the sexually immoral" (Hebrews 13:4). God also says that "you are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So, glorify God in your body" (1 Corinthians 6:19, 20). Wasting your purity is an insult to His design, disobedience to His Word, and a misuse of His property.
Fornication is given special attention when God says, "Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body” (1 Corinthians 6:18).
God prohibits sexual relations outside of marriage because He wants to protect you from AIDS, herpes, syphilis, and a host of other sexually transmitted diseases. He also wants to prevent babies from being born to teen parents and He wants to keep you from guilty memories for the rest of your life.
How can you keep pure?
Be careful what you think!
The first line of defense is your mind. The Lord Jesus said, "Everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:28). Controlling your thoughts is the first step to keeping your purity. And a good offense is the best defense. Fill the hard drive of your mind with good things, giving less space for the storage of corrupt files. As Paul said, "Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things" (Philippians 4:8).
Be careful what you see!
The Bible gives a list of some sexual sins in Romans 1. Then it says, "Though they know God's decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them" (Romans 1:32). In other words, you share the guilt if you find pleasure in watching other people sin. Would you be happy for your parents or your church leaders looking at your viewing history on YouTube? Even more importantly, muster the courage to sit down with God and go over your viewing patterns, preferences and habits. And for the future, be especially vigilant when you are surfing the web. Pray daily that God will give you help to keep your eyes pure from what is sinful or tempting.
Be careful what you say!
“Sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints" (Ephesians 5:3). Discussions of sexual perversions, off-color jokes, and comments with double meanings will only make you less sensitive to the sinfulness of sexual impurity. They make you callous to the shock of sin and make it easier to commit fornication. Make the Psalmist’s prayer the longing of your life, "Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord" (Psalm 19:14).
Be careful what you do!
The story is told of the man who wanted to hire a limousine driver. He asked the three applicants to show how close they could drive to the edge of a cliff on a curvy road. The first came within a foot. Proudly he turned the keys over to the second, daring him to beat his feat. The second came within six inches. The third started the car, looked at the owner, and said, "Sir, because I value your safety and mine, I will stay as far from the edge as possible!" He got the job!
Most people try to get as close to the edge of losing their moral purity as they can. How foolish! Paul taught, "Make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires" (Romans 13:14). The wise man asked, "Can one walk on hot coals and his feet not be scorched?" (Proverbs 6:28). Instead of asking where the limit is so you can get close, stay far from it in your actions, words, and even how you dress.
Be careful where you go!
Knowing how strong passion can be, Paul told a young man named Timothy, "Flee youthful passions" (2 Timothy 2:22). He warned him to avoid places and situations where lusts and passions would be ignited and purity would be at risk. Is it helpful to go to a movie and see something that stirs passion within you? Is it wise to spend hours alone with the person you are dating? You constantly and consciously must choose to be in places that will help preserve your purity.
Be careful who you are with!
People can help keep you pure. When dating, stay in the public eye. At home, keep your computer in the sight of others. At the same time, be very careful about those with whom you spend time. Being around the wrong person could put you at risk. Anyone who is not committed to your purity is not your friend. Sister, your date may claim love, but if he wants to compromise your purity, it is not love. It is plain selfish lust. So, seek out a partner who will truly love you and support your quest for moral purity.
How important is it … to YOU?
Commitment to purity is not an emotional decision at a Bible conference. It is a spiritual decision made alone with God in prayer. Have you ever told your Creator what you think of your purity? Will you today, make a commitment in His presence to keep yourself holy for Him and wholly for the marriage partner of His choice on your wedding day? May God burn this conviction deep into your heart and help you to live out your exercise despite all the challenges to the purity you protect.