This child of mine
has unlimited energy,
boundless enthusiasm,
relentless determination.
He finds all of the
chinks
in my parental armour
and, with well-timed blows,
brings me staggering to
my knees.
He is skilled at
pin-pointing
my weaknesses,
stamping
on my cardboard idols,
obliterating
parental ideologies.
Achievement,
identity,
‘success’,
lie in tatters
in front of many onlookers,
who witness the reality.
My Saviour reveals
over time,
through pain,
the gift
this is.
That the unmasking of
my self-constructed facade,
might give way
to an open
dependence,
on the One
who is really
in control.
He shows me
how outward obedience
became fuel for
self-congratulation.
Pinnacles of comparison
became a cause for
self-aggrandisement.
Self-congratulatory words
carried the rank odour of pride,
covering the
sweet aroma of
grace,
from my Sovereign God,
so freely given.
And so I kneel in
thankfulness,
before my Saviour,
for the precious “gifts” of
rebellion,
destruction,
and mayhem,
which caused me to see
more
of the rebellion,
destruction
and mayhem
in my heart.
And turn the
mess,
chaos,
and unmet expectations,
over to Him,
who, unbeknown to me,
was using this child of mine
to further His work
in this child of His.
